Did he love his ex more than me?

After several months of dating, While my bf started to love me, his deep believe was if he still love his ex, he would be able to save her from dying of cancer. One night, his ex told him she broke up to him bec she's dying and she wanted somebody that is always around so she wouldn't die alone. My bf promised her, he will always around. One month later, she died and after that my bf broke up with me bec he said if he'snot with me, his ex wouldnt die. He dated somebody else for 8 months and didnt work out well and he asked me to came back. Which I agreed. When we got back together, he told me everything, including the fact that he was still loving his ex till the day she died. Several months later, we got engaged and I asked him if only his ex is not dead, would he be with me, chosing me over her? and he got angry. he said the past is done and he can't change it. he said now he only loves me. Am I a second choice here? Did he loves her more than me?